I am Anne Berndt, 26 years old and this is my #afterschoolstory

My everyday life was characterized by certain fast-pacedness, a job-related being here and there. After a small odyssey through Germany, as I lived as an actress in Dresden, Berlin and Munich and was already on tour in Germany and Austria with a musical, I now live permanently in Cologne.

My vision changed my life

For a half of a year I lived in hotels during the tour with “Dschungelbuch – the musical”. However, I had a longing for more than being an actor, because a second big life dream was blossoming in me: To work as a director!

Dieses schnelllebige Leben, dass ich vorher gelebt habe, hat sich nach der Firmengründung unserer Filmagentur CREAVE – FILM AGENCY in Köln, zu eintausend Prozent gewandelt und es ist mehr Ruhe eingekehrt. Vorher war es so, dass ich als Schauspielerin von Casting zu Casting und von Job zu Job getingelt bin und auch keinen richtig festen Wohnsitz hatte, immer auf dem Sprung, immer bereit, in eine neue Stadt zu fahren oder gar zu ziehen.

First actress and then director – I did it

Davor hatte ich unendlich viel Respekt, denn schließlich hatte ich nach meinem Abitur nicht Film oder Regie, sondern Schauspiel studiert und bereits zwei Jahre hauptberuflich als Schauspielerin gearbeitet. Aber ich traute es mir zu und es kribbelte mir regelrecht unter den Fingernägeln.
Schon während der Schauspielschule war ich gern hinter den Kulissen tätig und meine MitstudentInnen fragten mich immer mal wieder nach Ratschlägen von außen. Zudem habe ich eigentlich schon als Kind angefangen, Filme zu machen. Natürlich ganz und gar nicht auf Hollywood-Niveau.

Als ich klein war, habe ich meine ersten Filme mit einem Camcorder oder auch meiner kleinen Digitalkamera gedreht. An Postproduktion war da noch nicht zu denken. Ich filmte alles chronologisch und reihte alle Szenen aneinander ohne irgendetwas weg zu schneiden, Effekte einzublenden, Color Grading o.ä. Wenn ich zum Beispiel einen Titel einblenden wollte, filmte ich am Anfang ein mit dem Filmtitel beschriebenes Blatt ab. So machte ich das in meiner Freizeit oder auch für die Schule als Hausaufgabe in Filmform.

I felt well prepared through my work as an actress

Der Wunsch, sowohl vor als auch hinter der Kamera und sowohl auf als auch hinter der Bühne zu arbeiten, hat mich also lange beschäftigt und nicht losgelassen. Mein Herz schlug für beides zu einhundert Prozent.
Auf Drehs, wie bei Jobs im Theater lernte ich das komplette Set- und Bühnenleben kennen, beobachtete die einzelnen Positionen genau. Ich bereitete mich als Schauspielerin nicht nur auf meine Rollen vor, sondern betrachtete jeden Job und jedes Casting auch als eine Art „Praktikum“, wo ich schön den Regisseur beobachten und von ihm lernen konnte. Und das, damit ich iiiiirgendwann mal selbst als Regisseurin arbeiten können würde. Wer weiß, vielleicht mal in 10 Jahren? 

So without further ado I applied for a summer project as a director for a children’s theatre play. The whole thing lasted only a few weeks and was a kind of test run for me. For the children it was a holidayjob and for me it was a decisive step on my way as a future director.

The motivation and joy of the children encouraged my decision to become a director

We wrote a play together with the children and I directed it. It was incredibly fun! And the kids were really into it. On the last day of the project the performance took place and I was very proud of my littleactors. Some of the children told me that thanks to the project they now want to join a permanent theatre group. That touched my heart, but also gave me the confirmation to continue.A few weeks after the theatre project, my husband, with whom I now run the film agency with, had a job as cameraman for a home movie for the ARD. He took me with him to the set, because I had neverbefore been “only” behind the scenes on a set, but had always led a double life as an actress and observer. I didn’t know yet – is it really something for me or will I not want to be on the other side? Afterall, I am an actress and I love acting. But the days on the set showed me the opposite: behind the camera, that’s exactly my thing. And there was and is no jealousy towards the actresses because I enjoy it just as much behind the camera.

My husband Christian is a cameraman and was CEO of a production company, but he wanted to set up a creative full-service film agency that would take care of everything from conception to shooting and post-production. And I had wanted to write and direct scripts and concepts for ages. So without further ado we got together and founded the agency.

We can already talk about first successes

At a film award at the Berlinale – the 99 Fire Films Award – our Film “Stillstand” made it into the top 10 in one category. In the meantime I cast actors myself, instead of always be jazzed at castings. And we worked with a real Hollywood actor: Danny Trejo. To risk a lot and to believe in our vision has already paid off completely. I feel competent on both sides because I can understand them both. And when I go to auditions as an actress, I’m not under so much pressure to get this job now to be able to pay myrent. They are two pillars that complement each other wonderfully, but also give me more existential security. This security is very important, especially now that I will soon be a mummy.

Compatibility of work and private life – was also a big issue for me

When I studied acting, I didn’t know yet – how do I get it all done? A steady relationship with my own family? In this eventful profession? I also write concepts and scripts for our company’s films or take on planning tasks. I can schedule this work as I wish, which was a great blessing during my pregnancy, which sometimes brought severe physical complaints. I couldn’t have travelled around as much as I used to as an actress and of course the baby’s belly doesn’t allow me to play every role anymore. Accordingly, in the last 8 months I have been doing one rather than the other dream job, but as I said, I love both sides.

Not just dream about it– do it! Try yourself

I would advise everyone to do an internship in the field before deciding to study, to find out – is it really something for me or was it just a dream job in my head? Not just dreaming – doing! There are so manyopportunities for that: A school internship, the Girls-Day, talking to people who already have that dreamjob, have a side job in the dream area, just inform you about it… and don’t expect everything to be perfect when you actually take the job. Because nothing is perfect.

In every profession there are challenges and especially if you live your dream, the fear that this dream might burst is normal. I have also received many rejections for roles as an actress and was even cut out of a film once. And even with CREAVE not all planned projects came true. Yes, these are defeats, but (maybe especially in the media world) one must not bury one’s head in the sand! I live by the motto “If you can dream it you can do it” (Walt Disney), but that also includes stumbling blocks, from which you profit again, because you learn a lot for the future from them.

I have learned a lot from setbacks – one example

For example, we bought a very expensive camera and had in mind all the projects we had already planned, with which we would get the money back in quickly. Three of the projects fell through unexpectedly and we were stuck on the cost of the camera! That was terrible for the moment, but we learned from it. For example, that we no longer rely on projects that are not yet contractually agreed upon and therefore do not count on the money and buy something from it. And this is exactly what I can advise all readers for their #afterschoolstory.

What do you find exciting about the profession of a director? What questions do you have about the working life as a director?

Yours Anne