IT’S OVER. “My thoughts were racing, I felt everything at once, from anger to pain to sadness to emptiness, and I couldn’t sort it out. Figuratively speaking, I felt alone in the middle of the open stormy ocean. Unable to drown, but equally unable to swim. Those 3 words that started the whole mess are both the worst and the best thing that has happened to me in my life so far.” Nicole talks about her powerlessness at the end of her relationship and how she learned to love herself. In this article, you’ll learn her 3 personal tips for seeing a break-up as an opportunity.

A break-up as an opportunity? Nicole’s challenge for self-love

“My heart was ripped out and trampled on. Suddenly nothing was worth anything. Every word said, every deed, every look, every touch, every gift, simply everything was worthless. The ground was pulled out from under my feet and I fell into a deep black hole. I somehow tried to understand what had just happened. My heart was on fire. The tears were flowing”, this is how Nicole (30, from Basel) describes to us what happened to her at the beginning of the year. However, if you find yourself in an unhealthy, so-called toxic relationship and don’t know how to get out of it, let Karin’s experience inspire you.

Standing in front of nothing with a broken heart

“In one fell swoop, the love of my life and our shared home were gone. And this despite the fact that I couldn’t have had a better start to 2020. We were on holiday over New Year’s Eve, in a pub, had a great time, toasted at midnight, told each other how much we loved each other and were looking forward to the new year together. Only 4 days later (back home) I was told: >>IT´S OVER<<.

I know what it feels like to have a broken heart and therefore see no perspective. I know what it feels like to look for answers and not get any. I know what it feels like to be all alone and all down. I know what it feels like to search for meaning and not find any. I know how it feels to feel worthless and discarded.

This is how I found myself – This is how you can do it too

But I also know how it feels when you find yourself again and everything suddenly makes sense. In the meantime, a new year is soon around the corner and I’m doing better than ever before. Through this deep fall I have learned to listen to myself again and to rebuild my self-esteem. To go into myself. To recognise what I really need and really want in my life. That is why I want to pass on what I have experienced. If I can give just one woman some strength or courage with what I have experienced, I am already more than happy.

You just have to start loving yourself – Nicole’s 3 self-love tips

At first I thought ” Help” how do I start?! How do I learn to like myself and how do I find out what I really want? But it’s very simple: SIMPLY BEGIN.

1. Find an outlet to balance your emotions.

It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. Go deep inside yourself, find out exactly where the pain is and do something about it. Write, sing, dance, talk, shout or do whatever you feel like. Find your personal outlet and you will see that it feels a bit better afterwards.

2. Allow emotions and learn to love yourself.

It is important to allow the emotions, to feel them, but also to let them go again. Because you are the most important person to yourself. This is not selfish, it is simply called self-love. How can people around you be well if you are not well? How can anyone like you if you don’t like yourself?

3. Take time for yourself, deal with yourself.

There are so many great ways to get closer to yourself again. Reading has helped me. There are really great books about this whole topic and they can really help you. Or a simple brainstorming session is also very helpful. Take a blank sheet of paper and some crayons. Write your name in the middle with your favourite colour and outline it. Then make a line away from your name for everything that is important to you, that you want to achieve or that you want to improve. And if necessary, make other lines that continue from the respective point.

Simple but effective!

It is as simple as it is effective. Because this way you can see at a glance what makes you tick and what you still want to achieve. Of course, there are many other great methods to get closer to yourself again. However, I have discovered a lot for myself with this very simple way of brainstorming. I’ve started taking photos, I’m starting an adult education next year alongside my job and I realised through the hard time what is most important. >>ME<< ♥

What helps you in crises? Tell us about your experience and tips in the comments.

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